[I’m sure most everyone has seen variations of this kind of spam, but this particular one, forwarded to me by Commodore Goat, is truly inspired.]

A highly paid razor blade. A revered polar bear. A stovepipe somewhat pees on the paternal short order cook. A ball bearing defined by the skyscraper operates a small fruit stand with a hockey player over the sheriff. A tabloid beyond the wheelbarrow caricatures a squid about a vacuum cleaner. A lover caricatures the fairy related to the bottle of beer, and a worldly chain saw figures out an apartment building. The pig pen from a sandwich seeks a movie theater from a blood clot, but some cough syrup from some football team barely organizes a fighter pilot.

Any bowling ball can figure out a financial spider, but it takes a real razor blade to seek a mating ritual. If a surly pork chop dances with a boiled grizzly bear, then the tape recorder around a stovepipe dies. Now and then, a judge near a tripod borrows money from a minivan defined by the bottle of beer. Another financial photon, the umbrella, and another somewhat polka-dotted CEO are what made America great!

A garbage can related to a steam engine trembles, or a buzzard of a dolphin writes a love letter to a dust bunny about a buzzard. A blithe spirit near another parking lot starts reminiscing about lost glory, but a demon for a globule lazily cooks cheese grits for a paycheck toward a minivan. The football team inside some warranty returns home, or the almost burly food stamp graduates from an abstraction defined by a hydrogen atom. A buzzard panics, and a razor blade of the tabloid earns frequent flier miles; however, the hole puncher of a paycheck teaches a college-educated traffic light. The psychotic judge slyly borrows money from the temporal food stamp, because the cocker spaniel pours freezing cold water on the wedding dress.